A patient is immobilized on a longboard on the gurney in the ambulance. I’m sitting quietly in the jumpseat by the patient’s head doing paperwork while a police officer is getting a statement from the patient about the accident she just caused while high on Valium.
My partner, standing at the back doors of the ambulance, has the yellow copy of the fire department’s field notes that they give us on every call. Needing that sheet for the patient’s info, and being too lazy to ask the patient for her info, I ask my partner is she knows how to fold a paper airplane.
“How do you not know how to fold a paper airplane?” I ask, half-incredulously and half-mockingly. I turn to the officer, “Do you know how to fold a paper airplane?”
“How about you?” I ask the patient. She’s nodding off when her eyes aren’t rolling around in their sockets, high as she is. “Ma’am! Do you know how to fold a paper airplane?”
“Uh, oh, yeah…” Back to sleep she goes.
My partner starts to improvise her construction project with the fire sheet. It’s kinda pathetic. She finishes, and tries to fly it in my direction, but it breaks sharply to the right and hits the cop square on the cheek. Another officer was just reaching the back doors and starts laughing loudly.
“You should arrest her for assaulting a peace officer…”