Wipe my butt

Code 3 for the diabetic problem.

Man in his 30s on the toilet, having just had some soft bowel movement. Pretty smelly too. It’s all over the toilet. There’s an electric wheelchair in the bedroom. His arms look like he had a stroke or two in the past.

“I just need help off the toilet. And can you help wipe me? I’ve been here since 9 last night.” It’s now 2am. He does NOT want to go to the hospital. Just needs a lift. And clean-up.

Four male firefighters and I look at each other, frozen by the thought of having to wipe a grown man’s butt. That’s why we’re not nurses.

The firefighter/paramedic says to my EMT partner, “Where I’m from, the EMTs get to do this.” Kinda snotty attitude, if you ask me. Paramedics have 10 times as much training as EMTs, but that doesn’t mean EMTs shovel shit everywhere they go.

Thankfully my female partner was cool. In fact, she was the only one in that room who had any idea how to wipe this man’s butt.

“Can you imagine how embarrassing it is to have to rely on other people to wipe your butt? And you guys just stood there!”

My partner is very mature and thoughtful.

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