Don’t move

I’m trying to start an IV on a woman who has some medical history but is nonetheless full of shit.

“Don’t move.”

Of course as soon as the tip of the needle hits the back of her hand, she flexes her wrist and tries to pull away. I already knew in advance that this was going to happen and try to prevent her hand from going anywhere, but to no avail.

“I thought I told you not to move.”

“It hurts!”

“Of course it hurts – it’s a needle.”

I try to salvage this mess of an attempt, but eventually give up. I pull the catheter out and put some gauze on her hand. I’m not in any mood to do it again. People who can’t hold still is for some reason unbelievably annoying.

“Why are you taking it out?”

“Because it’s no good.”

“Well, it’s not because of me.”

I move to the jumpseat behind the gurney to avoid talking to her for the remainder of the ride.

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