We get a lot of nosebleed calls, and they’re usually related to hypertension. You may be wondering why a nosebleed is a 911 matter, but I don’t have the answer. “They call, we haul.”

The funny thing is that no matter how many times you instruct a person how to properly pinch the nose to help stop the bleeding, it just doesn’t register. You tell someone where to pinch, you physically pinch someone’s nose to demonstrate where to pinch, you physically grab and place someone’s hand where it’s supposed to go, and 30 seconds later that hand is pinching something else. This typically is repeated 20 times on every call. It’s like everyone has ADD or dyslexia so bad that they can’t even do this one simple thing. And they’re always complaining that the bleeding has been going on for hours and they just can’t understand why it won’t stop. Well, if you’d pay some attention and pinch your nose properly, it just might stop bleeding…

And then of course, it does stop bleeding because of, finally, some proper pinching, and now the ED staff is dying to send you out to the waiting room.

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