We’re at a hospital and I’m sitting next to the charge nurse, giving her info on our patient. Something catches my eye on her screen – a patient in his 20s with an “object in penis” as his complaint.

“What’s he got in his penis?”

“A triple-A battery.”

“Is that a hobby?”

“I don’t know.”

“How far up his penis is the battery?”

“Probably pretty far up because they’re planning on conscious sedation to get it out.”

A few hours later, I asked about the gentleman, and apparently he left without resolving his problem because he was worried about the cost of removing it.

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