Dumb and dumber

Code 3 for the human bites. PD on scene.

PD walks up to the rig.

“Hey guys, I’m sorry. I told him to just wash it off with soap and water but he insisted that I call you guys. His friend here is going to get taken to psych services.”


Dude walks up to us and tells us that his best friend bit him.

“Where did he bite you?”

“I’m not sure. I think in the legs.”

“What do you mean you’re not sure?”

“Well, I was trying to restrain him. He’s got psych problems.”


“Drop your pants then.”

“Are you guys up?”

It’s 3am. This jackass thinks we don’t sleep. AND he calls us out for this bullshit.

“Just drop your pants and show us where you think he bit you.”

Superficial bite marks.

“Just wash it with soap and water, like the officer said.”

“I just wanted you to check it out. Can you wrap it or something?”

“It doesn’t need to be wrapped. It needs to be washed though. Do you want to go the hospital?”


“Good. Sign here.”

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