Peeing is an emergency

Code 2 for the person who can’t stop urinating. At 4am, of course. Besides, if you can’t stop peeing, why would you want to be on a gurney where you certainly can’t pee anywhere but on yourself? Can’t wait to get to this one…

Dude in his 30s opens the door and walks to his kitchen counter, where he was eating.

“What’s wrong?”

“I can’t stop peeing. I keep having urges.”

“How often do you pee?”

“Every hour.”

“That sounds pretty normal to me… Any prostate problems?”

“No.”

“Are you thirstier than usual? Eating more than usual?”

Of course I think to myself how dumb that question could potentially be since he was eating as we walked in.

“No.”

“How long have you been peeing a lot?”

“Two weeks.”

“Two weeks? So why call now? What’s different?”

“I’m peeing every minute.”

“We’ve been here a few minutes and you haven’t had to pee… You have 3 cars out front, why did you call an ambulance?”

I don’t talk people out of ambulance transports, but this was just too stupid.

“I didn’t want to wake my family up.”

But apparently it’s OK to wake the 4 people on an engine company, and the 2 people on the ambulance. Six people have to get up for you because you can’t stop peeing.

“Well you could’ve asked them for a ride earlier in the day, you know…”

He starts walking all over the house, looking for his family, who probably, just like us, wishes they were somewhere else. His uncle pops his head out of one door.

“I told you not to call 911. Get in the car.”

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