Code 2 for abdominal pain.

A very obese 19-year-old woman is having abdominal pain. She’s crying, and she’s clearly uncomfortable. But she’s had it for the past 3 days. It’s suddenly an emergency right now. There’s a baby with her, probably no more than 6 months old.

“Is there someone who can watch the baby?”

“No. He’s coming with me.”

“Alright, do you have a car seat?”


“Well, where are we going to put him? He needs a car seat. We’re not driving around with a baby without a way to secure him to something.”

She wails, “I don’t know! I just want to get to the hospital!”

“You sure there’s not a neighbor or a friend who can watch him?”

“No! I just moved here! I don’t know anyone! If you don’t want to take me, I’m calling another ambulance!”

She then picks up the phone and calls 911 again.

“Put that down. They’re going to tell you the same thing I’m telling you.”

She complies. And cries.

I could tell her to take the friggin’ bus, but I’m not going to.

Thankfully, somehow my partner is able to dig out a Pedi-Mate from somewhere in the untold depths of the bench storage in the rig. We really got lucky too, since this was back when no one had these things. Otherwise I don’t even want to think about how we’re going to skirt the rules just to get this call over with. But sometimes you just have to do what you have to do.

“Ma’am, you can sit here in this jumpseat, and we’ll strap your baby to the gurney in this thing.”

“I just want to go to the hospital.”

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