Not tough enough

Code 3 for an auto-ped.

A male in his 20s walks up to us. He looks to be just fine.

“We here for you?”


“So what happened?”

“I got hit by a van that was backing up. And then he left! I was walking and he backed up and I was holding up my arms and yelling at him to stop but he wouldn’t stop! He drove off!”

“This happen here?”

“No. It was at Kxxx and Mxxxx.” (A mile away.)

“So how did you get over here? And why are you here anyway?”

“Oh, this guy drove me over here.”

“So are you hurt or what?”

“Yeah, my arms are all scratched up!”

I look, and he has very, very superficial abrasions on his forearms, the inside of his forearms. The abrasions make no sense. Actually, to call them abrasions is glorifying them. They’re more like skin peels. What kind of auto-ped causes skin peels on the inside of forearms?

“So how did you get those?”

“He backed into me!”

“I get that part. But how did you get the scratches on your arms?”

“Well, he hit me when he backed into me!”

“Did you fall down?”


“You stayed on your feet then, right?”


I checked out a long time ago, but I’m almost just a little curious about him and his story. But in the end, I just couldn’t give a shit.

“You wanna go to the hospital?”


“Sign here then.”

The cops are following most of this, and they don’t seem to think much of his version of events either. But whatever.

A half hour later at a different call, the same cops show up.

“Hey guess what, we went over to where that guy said it happened to look at surveillance tapes, and this other guy came to us and told us he watched the tapes. He said our guy was trying to reach into someone’s car to repo it but the other guy drove off anyway. He didn’t get hit. I don’t even know why he called us.”

“Not much of a repo guy.”

“Nope. We cited his dumb ass for wasting our time.”


“Besides, you can’t repo a car if someone’s in it. That’s grand theft.”

Really not much of a repo guy. Aren’t they supposed to be tough too?”

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