Poo management

“I really need to take a shit.”

“Do you see a toilet anywhere in this ambulance?”

(“And WHO requested to go to the farther hospital?”)

People make no sense.

Quite a few people call us for diarrhea. Diarrhea’s pretty close to the bottom of the This-Is-Not-An-Emergency spectrum. It sure is uncomfortable, but still. Recently, there was this interesting article about microbiomes and a rare case of severe diarrhea was mentioned, but that’s an entirely different topic.

Anyway, I don’t understand these people – if I had diarrhea, the only place I would want to be is near the toilet, preferably my own, not on a gurney in an ambulance where the only option is to sit in my own poop. (Or is it “sit on my own poop”?) I also do not want to be stuck at a hospital, where I’d either sit in my poop (again) or have to run to the bathroom and hope to God that no one is using it.

Just last week this guy called us for diarrhea. He was standing outside the house, which was a strange place to be in the first place when you have diarrhea. Then, we heard him pass some gas and this brown, liquid bubble was coming through the back of his pants. I saw the bubble form in real time. I backed away. Quickly. Why didn’t he just stay near the bathroom? How do these people take care of themselves? And we let people breed without licenses?

2 thoughts on “Poo management”

  1. Last year I woke up one morning with cramps and a severe need to GO NOW! Unfortunately, in my rush my knee buckled and I fell, breaking my rt tib/fib with a loud snap. OUCH! I made a mess, crawled into the bathroom and called for help. The EMT apparently did not believe my story about a broken leg, and made me stand up from the toilet to hop out to the hall to get on the gurney. I didn’t file a complaint, but my apt. manager sure did!!!

    You have my sympathies and thanks.

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