You can’t even conquer alcohol

Code 3 for the fall. At a university residence hall.

A drunk college student fell from the top bunk of his bunk bed, cracking his scalp wide open.

I look up, and there’s a whiteboard on a wall above a desk. On it, someone wrote, “Vagina conquistador.”

“Who is the ‘vagina conquistador’?”

“He is,” his roommate said, pointing to the patient.

“Is that like ‘pussy slayer’ in Spanish? Well, not tonight, he’s not.”

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