Too fat

A couple of signs you may be overweight, besides the usual can’t-fit-through-the-door problem…

You can’t get up off the floor because, as your daughter says, your belly is too big and you can’t even bend at the waist with your legs straight.

You can barely reach around to wipe your butt, and, worse, after wiping and looking at it, you throw the toilet paper on the floor instead of into the toilet because it takes too much effort to reach back again.

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