Code 3 for man down.
Neighborhood regular. Almost falls over when he lets go of his shopping cart. Obviously drunk off his ass and clearly has no meaningful comprehension of the situation.
“Do you want to go to the hospital?”
After a long pause, “Noooo…”
“Why are you even asking, silly? Put him on the fucking gurney.”
He does not resist one bit, his legs probably so happy that they can relax for a second from the stress of holding him up.
“What hospital do you want to go to?”
“Fuck. Does it matter? Have you not picked up a really drunk guy before?”
“I don’t want to kidnap* him…”
“Fuck! Use your fucking head!”