I’m racist (someone said so)

Code 2 for vomiting.

A male in his 20s is complaining of abdominal pain and nausea/vomiting for a week. He is crying, whining, writhing and whimpering. All at the same time.

“He got shot 11 times last year.”

Show me a gangbanger, and I’ll show you a pussy underneath all the tough guy bullshit and tattoos. I don’t go to many assault calls and say to a hoodlum, “Man, you took it like a champ.” Hell, I don’t know a single group of people who cry more for their mommas after someone has “popped a cap up they ass.”

I have no doubt some of those bullets tore some of this guy’s intestines up. But still, this doesn’t fit the images I see on MTV and the like.

“I’m hyperventilating!”

Real tough guy, aren’t you?

“I need something for my pain!” He ends up saying this a dozen times throughout the ride.


Anyway, he won’t even walk to the ambulance. Now that is fucking annoying.

I gave him PO Zofran, and we’re chugging along to the hospital. He gags, so I move the trash can next to him.

“Here’s the trash can for you to puke into. Please.”

I don’t know what he perceived – and I don’t care anyway – because the next thing out of his mouth was, “Man, why you gotta throw that shit at me? That’s racist! I hate racist people.”

“Yo man, I don’t know where you get the idea that I’m racist. Just because I gave you a fucking trash can to puke into? What the fuck is wrong with you? How is that racist? I don’t like it that you called me racist.”

“Those last ambulance people were racist…” He meekly mumbles. I only made out what he said after I made him repeat himself 4 times.

“Do I look like those last ambulance people? Was I there? I’ve been pretty cool to you so far, and you give me this shit? Who the fuck do you think you are?”

I just can’t imagine how he got shot with such an agreeable personality.

Don’t worry about the narcs, pal – I’m not giving you any. Obviously you have more pressing concerns than your pain. On top of that, you said you couldn’t answer my questions about your pain because you’re in too much pain. You don’t give me a history, I don’t give you narcs. It’s that simple; it’s Assessment 101.

The pussy ends up apologizing. He’s still crying like a little bitch though.

The ED staff ends up hearing about this little event while we look into how many times this asshole has been to the ED for the same thing. (Three in a week.) One nurse then tells me this story (nominally) about racism.

“This guy was trying to get the automatic hand sanitizer dispenser to squirt out some foam but he can’t. I go and wave my hand under it and it works. He says, ‘That thing is racist.’ I thought he was kidding but he wasn’t.”

3 thoughts on “I’m racist (someone said so)”

  1. Sadly, all too many black people have been indoctrinated to think that the cause of all of their problems is racism. Even more sad is that all too many white people have been indoctrinated to believe that too. The true racism is by those on the left that condescend to black people and don’t hold them to the same standards that everyone else has to meet.

  2. Hand sanitizers are racist? If that’s the case, there’s one in my hospital that must seriously hate the Irish, French, German, or English, ’cause it just won’t give up the goods, yunnowhatamsayin?

Leave a Reply