I don’t reason with crazy people

I have just spent more than 30 minutes with this crazy drug- and alcohol-addled woman. She is calm now, but she was combative and screaming obscenities non-stop before the combination of deliberate non-engagement and Versed finally made her fall asleep briefly as we enter the ED, which is somewhat of a bad thing, because hospitals tend to be very naive about combative patients, and this false sense of security is exactly what I don’t need them to have.

She wakes up as security and ED staff start entering the room before the bed transfer.

“WHY THE FUCK AM I HERE? I WANT TO GO TO FUCKING [Hospital A]!”

For some unknown reason, the nurse, who certainly looks old enough to know better, thought this patient worthy of an intelligent discussion as she continues to scream basically gibberish.

“Yes, why didn’t you bring her to [Hospital A]?”

“Uh, we never discussed it. You see, I don’t discuss anything of meaning with a violent patient who makes 4 people fight to restrain her.”

“So why did you bring her here?”

Oh for fuck’s sake.

“Because you’re closest.”

The patient is still screaming about that other hospital. This nurse still thinks there is a coherent conversation in this room somewhere.

“Can you tell her that?”

“What?”

“You know, to calm her down, since she’s asking why she’s not at [Hospital A].”

“What?”

“But don’t tell her it’s because it’s the closest.”

<Silence>

What the fuck is this nurse’s problem? She has a student nurse too; God help him.

If there’s anything you don’t do, you don’t ask medics to be serious in ridiculous situations; you are not going to be happy. (Take note, student nurse.)

“Ma’am, [Hospital A] is closed forever. Don’t ever ask to go there again. Ever.”

This actually confuses the patient for a few seconds before she resumes screaming her head off non-stop.

The nurse isn’t too pleased though. And doesn’t get it.

“It’s closed? It’s not closed.”

“Were you expecting a serious answer to a crazy person’s question?”

“Can you step out of the room? You’re agitating her.”

“I’ve been with her for a long time. I’ve not said more than a dozen words to her. I’m pretty sure I’m not the problem.”

“Can you step out of the room?”

“I’m only still here because you wouldn’t let me leave. Bye.”

3 thoughts on “I don’t reason with crazy people”

  1. I think there were two crazy people in the room. One of them has RN after her name. Or maybe one crazy person and one stupid person. Who has RN after her name.

    You showed far more patience that I would have. Then again, if I had to sedate the patient, I’d have had the option of using Ativan.

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