Code 3 for “nervous breakdown” on a bus. You read that right – this was actually how it was dispatched. Apparently you can call 911 for anything. It was a very careful drive to the call, if you get my drift.
Nothing legitimate ever happens on a bus.
It’s near the university.
Everyone is off the bus, like 30 of them. No one looks pleased. The cops look at us and point to the door. They shrug. The bus driver looks at me and I look at him. He looks annoyed.
“She get on at the train station?”
“Yeah. She was fine. Then all of a sudden she starts crying and being hysterical.”
We get on.
A well-dressed woman in her 50s is sitting in the first row. She is crying. There is clearly no emergency here. As per usual.
“It’s my first day teaching here,” referring to the university.
“So why are you crying?”
“I don’t know. I have anxiety.”
“Well, how can we help you calm down so you can be on your way and get to your appointment? I assume you don’t want to miss the first day at your new job.*”
I barely finish this sentence before she starts wailing again.
“Stop talking! I can’t think! I don’t know what to do!”**
I can’t even hear myself now.
“Ma’am, all we’re interested in is how to help you get on with your day…”***
<More wailing and blubbering>
Fucking never mind.****
“Get up. Sit on the gurney.”