Be more cynical

A young woman was mugged outside a large department store, her purse and phone taken. Mall security was first to arrive and called 911.

The cops are there.

“We totally thought it was another one of those got-caught-shoplifting-now-I-can’t-breathe medicals.”

“Yeah, me too.”

Everyone chuckles. It’s perverse. On one hand, we feel for the young lady, but on the other hand, we can’t be any more glad that it’s not the typical shoplifting bullshit.

“Can you assholes be any more cynical?”

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