IV been lied to (surprise)

Code 3 for “male with an IV in his arm.”

Guess what happened…

“Hey, do NOT drive Code 3 to this, please.”

If the powers that be want to write me up for not driving Code 3 to this horseshit, go ahead, fuckheads.

So, we’re at a bus stop bench, of course. The cops point to the patient’s standard-issue plastic bag that says “Patient Belongings” on the side. There are some clothes in there, which I’m certain he was wearing before he swapped them out for the gown he has on now. There’s a set of monitor cables in it. And paperwork. Which are from the ED that issued the wristband he’s wearing. Which is distal to the saline lock that he’s partially yanked out, tape still clinging onto his now-bloody skin.

“So you escaped from the hospital, eh?”

“I didn’t escape from no hospital.”

“Don’t lie to me.”

“I ain’t lying.”

“Yeah you are. Do I look like a child? Where do you live?”

“[Insert some address on the other side of town].”

“You wanna go home?”

“I wanna go back to the hospital.”

“What the hell for?”

“I don’t feel good.”

“So why did you leave the hospital in the first place?”

“‘Cause there was a liquor store across the street from it.”

“THAT I know you’re not lying about.”

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