Who says you have to be smart to be a doctor?*

Code 3 for leg cramps. I’ll let you read the call notes instead of repeating the radio dispatch. I copied and pasted the notes because I was unable to bring myself to type this garbage.

RP IN MEDICAL MOBILE UNIT
2 PTS
ONE WITH CRAMPS
OTHER WITH SWOLLEN LYMPH NODE

What. The. Fuck.

Because it’s second-hand info, it’s non-triaged. Because it’s non-triaged, MPDS says it’s Delta. So it’s lights and sirens.

I’m not MPDS so I’m not responding lights and sirens. I dare them to fire me. So we drive VERY SAFELY over to this location for this bullshit.

Apparently this is a mobile medical clinic for the unbelievably large homeless population that this city hosts. A county-run clinic. A county-run clinic that is now overtaxing a county-overseen EMS system. An EMS system that is stretched to the limit. Stretched to the limit by endless bullshit calls. Like this bullshit call. These two bullshit patients.

The physician in charge of the clinic greets us, and at least he’s not so stupid that he can’t see that I am not hiding my displeasure with him.

“You people couldn’t arrange a van or something to drive them and you had to call 911 for what is obviously not an emergency?”

“Well…”

“You’re a county program that is abusing the EMS system exactly like the idiots the county, your employer, is actively trying to discourage from calling 911? You know the hot new topic in public health is how to get people to stop calling 911 and going to the ED, right? So all along your transport plan for these patients is to call 911? Why even have this clinic then? Why don’t you just stay home and tell them to call 911 directly?”

*Obviously, I meet a lot of doctors at work – at hospitals, clinics, concerts, first aid stations, etc. Oh, and the EMS medical directors who do nothing but cause me headaches. Let me just say that the notion that only very smart people can be doctors was long ago shattered into a gazillion pieces.

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