Cell phone warriors: Eat a dick

Code 3 for traffic collision. Called in by a passer-by.

I hate cell phone warriors.

We barely find the wreck. Why? Because it’s a fender-bender and the cars are parked like normal parking jobs. The people are exchanging information like sensible, intelligent human beings. For a change.

“Um, we’re OK.”

“We didn’t call you guys.”

“We don’t need the police. No one is hurt.”

To sum up, a cell phone warrior, passing by in a car, saw this very minor traffic collision, did not bother to stop and ask the parties involved if they were OK, called 911 to report it so s/he can pat him/herself on the back and feel good about him/herself for saving the day, all while s/he should instead be PAYING ATTENTION TO DRIVING AND STAYING OFF THE PHONE. We get dispatched, lunch interrupted, drive lights and sirens through streets full of ridiculously poor drivers who on a normal day already can’t even function before we come through Code 3, some of them probably calling 911 themselves for the sleeping homeless drunk while driving and not paying attention, make it to the scene in one piece without getting into another wreck, only to find that no one involved wanted us there in the first place.

So when are we going to require $100 deposits and/or physical presence from 911 callers?

3 thoughts on “Cell phone warriors: Eat a dick”

  1. Dude, here’s the one to top all stories. We get a call for a motorcycle wreck. Dispatch says that the callers saw it from inside their house. They said the bike spun out in the air. The callers waited 20 minutes to see if the driver would get up. When he didn’t get up, they decided to call 911.

    How long do you have to wait when you see a motorcycle go flying up in the air before you call 911!? Let alone go out and help the guy!?!?

  2. I’ve been saying for years we should mandate people to stop and ask if the individuals involved in this “horrific” occasion actually require any help at all. And if you choose not to we will clear you of any legal, ethical, or moral responsibility. And if you choose to call without checking first of the need for anyone then we will fine you. Heavily.

  3. I’ve been saying for ten years or more that we need to charge $100.00 for cell phone 9-1-1 calls. If the crew that responds thinks that the call is legit, you get your money back. If not, thanks for supporting emergency services.

    I refer to them as “Drive by cell phonings”, which can be as bad as drive by shootings.

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