Funniest thing I heard #2

“Engine 10, this is a Delta response. At <insert intersection here>. Look for PD – they are out with an injury accident, and they have diagnosed someone with a concussion.”

Friggin’ cops.

Ralph Wolf and Sam Sheepdog

Ralph Wolf and Sam Sheepdog – like all our bullshit regulars and us; just a silly, never-ending routine.

I got schooled by a 19-year-old

I’m getting coffee. On duty. Yes, that happens. Leave me alone.

The young woman behind the counter asks me how my day is going.

“Well, I’m at work, unfortunately.” I fake a sigh.

I say this all the time, half-serious, half-joking. It reflects the ambivalent nature of my feelings toward my work. I love my work, but often it is unbelievably aggravating. I doubt there is a single emergency service person who disagrees.

“If you don’t like what you’re doing, you should do something else!”

She says this with some edge. Perhaps a little too much edge for a person making another person’s coffee.

If only it is that simple, little girl.

I let it slide.

If only in the real world you can just do whatever you want and quit whenever you want.

I’ll check back with her in 10 years.

Explaining Public Safety to Civilians #10: Amusing ourselves

“I’m still waiting and this young man here still dead.”

I always chuckle when I think about all the wiseass remarks medics make to patients and families.

Despite the hilarity of the scene, my favorite part is still the beginning of the clip: “Get the hell out of my way.”

Funniest term in EMS

Even I dare not repeat the various names and acronyms* that exist among emergency service providers for anxiety events, but this one I heard the other day is probably the most unexpectedly hilarious entry I have heard in all these years:

EEE (Triple E) – Ethnic Emotional Event

*Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about

How to manage a panic attack

As demonstrated by Airplane!.

Be more cynical

A young woman was mugged outside a large department store, her purse and phone taken. Mall security was first to arrive and called 911.

The cops are there.

“We totally thought it was another one of those got-caught-shoplifting-now-I-can’t-breathe medicals.”

“Yeah, me too.”

Everyone chuckles. It’s perverse. On one hand, we feel for the young lady, but on the other hand, we can’t be any more glad that it’s not the typical shoplifting bullshit.

“Can you assholes be any more cynical?”