Code 3 for an intoxicated subject on a bus.
So there’s a drunk on the bus. What else is fucking new. There are only 3 call types involving buses – drunk, seizure, fall, and sometimes 2 or all 3 of them are present on the same call.
He obviously didn’t suddenly get drunk, and he
boarded stumbled onto the bus some time ago, but for some reason the driver decided that now was a good time to stop the bus and call 911, instead of finishing the route first. It’s not like there’s a bus full of people who actually have things to do.
“Can’t you guys just take him off the bus?” Some random impatient woman asks.
“Why thank you for your input, random civilian who’s not getting her hands dirty. First, we’ve only been on the bus for 12 seconds. Then, as a responsible EMS provider, I have to actually examine him, seeing how I wasn’t on this bus observing him until 16 seconds ago, and therefore have no idea what’s wrong with him, even though it seems pretty obvious to anyone with one eye. Besides, it’s raining outside, so I’m really in no hurry to get him or us wet. And finally, the smart play is for my partner right here to actually go and get the gurney and set it up right outside the bus doors so I’m not physically holding this drunk guy up on the sidewalk in the rain once I get him off the bus. You see, drunk people aren’t terribly good at standing up or walking, and my back has been beaten up enough. And I certainly don’t want him to fall, because that means I would have to pick him up while you record it with your phone. You’d probably even be the first one to complain to my boss about him falling AND send the video to the press. I have no desire for any media attention or extra paperwork. So thank you, again, kind random civilian who’s not getting her hands dirty, for your astute suggestion.”